I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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