their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
