I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
