so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
