i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my poor anus
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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