i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize