Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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