Welp...herpes.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
