so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh god it's open bar.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
