What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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