yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
