i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
