I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
