and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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