Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
