I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
