Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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