Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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