I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
