Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
