if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
