Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
