so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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