Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
