He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
