So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize