this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
