My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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