Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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