it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
