Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
