Got a toothbrush?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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