Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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