the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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