i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
