Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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