no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
