im about as happy as oj after his trial
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
