she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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