Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
