So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
