the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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