You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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