We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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