its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
