Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
