$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She bit a glass in half.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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