gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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