My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
