She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
