Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
