you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
