well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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