I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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