...so i touched it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
