hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
