he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm too high and old for this...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
