I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
