I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
