Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
