your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
